Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
