Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You were trust falling into bushes
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
