Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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