Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
