Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
