I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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