Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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