he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
