I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
