Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize