a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
