The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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