Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
