I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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