During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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