HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
