yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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