Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
