it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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