P.S. I can't hear my feet
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
