So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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