he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
