just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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