i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
