he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
