He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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