ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize