i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
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It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
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I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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