He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
tonight lets celebrate not being married
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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