Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
dude i'm inner monologue high
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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