Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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