the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My bed smells like the plague
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
