when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
