69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Will exercising make me less horny?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
