Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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