we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
