sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
