I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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