You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
