There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
