How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
handjob tips. give me some.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize