but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
