i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
