Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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