Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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