Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
