just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
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And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
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Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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