Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
