News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I pour the whiskey from now on
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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