I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
