So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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