***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
