Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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