saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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