question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
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