i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
