so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
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Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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