cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I could fuck to npr.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize