I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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