I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Randomize
