i may or may not be watching the land before time
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
