Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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