She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
