Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize