I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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