So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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