Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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